The Matchmaker from Heaven
by radical-rebel
Summary: Maes Hughes may have passed on, but that doesn't mean he can't keep an eye on his friends. When he observes a thought-provoking interaction between Roy and Edward, he decides that he has to interfere. One shot. Roy/Ed, with a bit of Al/Winry on the side.


_A/N: Well, this is officially my first FMA fic. In truth, it only exists because I had a very insistent plot bunny invade my mind a few days ago. It was four in the morning though, and I just wanted to fall asleep, so I promise myself that if the plot bunny was still there when I woke up, I would sit down and write it. And when I woke up..._

_Pretty much the summary is this: Hughes is watching from where ever he is now, and he observes an interaction between Roy and Ed which makes him realize that the two are head over heels for each other. What's any good friend to do? He tries to interfere of course! _

_I would be absolutely thrilled if you leave me a review when you finish! And please feel free to let me know of any mistakes of any kind; the only thing even close to editing that this piece has experienced was a quick read-through by my little sister, and I highly doubt she was looking for grammatical errors._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Would I honestly be writing fanfiction if I did?_

The Matchmaker from Heaven

Brigadier General Maes Hughes sighed heavily, watching as his breath blew a single strand of hair off of his forehead. He was _bored_. Death was turning out to be nothing like he had imagined. For most of his adult life, he had expected that it would be something exciting – an adventure of sorts. Had he been ready to pass on at the time when he died, he would have actually looked forward to it.

So far his ideas were turning out to be inaccurate.

In fact, life after death was rather dull. All one had to do was sit on one's cloud, amongst all the other dead people, most of whom one had never met in one's life. Of course, one _could _take a walk if one desired – but it wasn't so much walking as _floating_ from cloud to cloud, greeting whomever one happened to meet. This got tiresome after a while. Maes knew from experience.

The only way to really pass the time was to watch the people on the earth below. At first Maes watched his family. He felt certain that Elicia was the most adorable child on the face of the planet, and he made sure to tell anyone and everyone who passed. For some reason, though, no one ever stuck around to get a look at her. This baffled Maes; he would have expected them to be more interested in his perfect little girl.

But the problem with watching Elicia was that it made Maes imagine what she would be like when she grew up. Which, in turn, made him imagine the flocks of boys lining up at her door for a chance to look at her. And with no father there to look out for her...

This thought made Maes so very warlike that he jumped up, pumping his fists in a militant manner, ready to look for the nearest shotgun. He only succeeded in frightening the elderly woman on the cloud next to his.

Maybe it was time to watch someone else for a while.

Maes decided to turn his attention to Central and his close friend, Colonel Roy Mustang.

When Roy was in his office, he usually avoided doing actual work of any kind. Thus, he was often required to hide when First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye caught on and came to look for him, trusty gun ready in hand. This tended to result in quality entertainment; the time when Riza had found him crouching in the air duct in the ceiling above his desk had been particularly memorable. Maes still wasn't sure how his friend had managed to get up there in the first place.

Today Roy wasn't up to much. He wasn't working on the large pile of papers that Riza had delivered earlier that morning, (big surprise, Maes thought), but he didn't seem to be actively procrastinating either. Instead, he was staring out of the window behind him, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Maes frowned. Clearly his friend was contemplating something important. Roy looked almost as if he were having an internal debate with himself; every so often his brow would furrow and he would either shake his head absently. This was only amusing for a few minutes, since Maes had no way of finding out what was on Roy's mind. That was when the boredom started.

He was actually considering finding someone else to watch when the door to Roy's office opened.

Riza poked her head in. Intrigued, Maes leaned forward and cupped a hand behind his ear to listen.

"Edward Elric is here, sir," she was saying. "He says you wanted to see him." Maes thought he detected a hint of a smile on her lips, but why she would be smiling, he had no idea.

Roy shook himself slightly. "Ah. Yes, so I did. Show him in."

"Yes, sir."

The moment Riza was gone, Roy returned to looking thoughtful.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered to himself. "Why am I..."

Why was Roy _what_?

Maes didn't have time to ponder his friend's state of mind, because the door had just swung open again.

Edward stomped in, coming to a stop several feet in front of Roy's desk and crossing his arms over his chest. His displeasure was painfully apparent. "You called?" he asked coolly.

Roy's demeanor had changed as soon as the teenage boy entered the room. Smirking slightly, he sat up straighter in his chair and interlocked his fingers on the desktop.

"Yes, I did. I've just had the...er..." he paused, and when he spoke again his voice was filled with sarcasm, "_pleasure_ of reading your last report, Fullmetal, and I wanted to have a word with you about it."

"You could have just said so on the phone," Edward remarked.

"Well, you weren't exactly there, were you?" Roy replied dryly. "Alphonse told me that you were out, and he didn't know when you would return–"

"So you figured you'd just save yourself the trouble of calling again and drag me up to Headquarters instead?" It was more of a statement than a question. Maes was impressed; from what he knew of Roy, Edward's assumption sounded spot on. "Very clever, Colonel. What's wrong with the report?"

Roy knew better than to argue when his character was so accurately described. "Several of your movements remain unaccounted for. I know for a fact that you bought multiple train tickets, both to Resembool and to Rush Valley–"

"What, are you having me followed or something?" Ed cut him off angrily.

Roy shook his head, and Maes could see that he was holding back laughter. "In a manner of speaking," he said.

That made Maes laugh out loud. He had been watching when Roy had requested that Major Armstrong tail the Elric brothers, explaining it away as concerns for their safety and whatnot. Maes had a feeling that Roy really just wanted to know where they went. Roy was inexplicably curious when it came to the Elrics.

Of course, the Major had agreed readily, assuring Roy that he would carry out his mission "with the skills of concealment that have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!"

Suffice to say, it had taken Roy a long, long time to herd the man out of his office.

When Maes finally attended to the conversation once more, Roy was speaking. "And would you care to explain how you managed to overspend your budget... _again_?" he asked with considerable vexation.

"If my reports bother you so much, why don't you just write them yourself?" Edward suggested, his tone acerbic. "You probably know what I'm up to."

Roy sat back in his chair and gestured at his full desktop, his smirk widening. "As you can see, my workload increases daily. I don't have the time to be fixing a report that _you_ should have written correctly in the first place. Although I suppose I shouldn't have expected much from someone of your stature..."

His words produced the intended affect.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP SO SMALL HE COULD DISAPPEAR DOWN THE BATHTUB DRAIN?!"

Roy blinked. "I never said that, Fullmetal."

"Well, you were thinking it," said Edward huffily. He recrossed his arms, having waved them a good deal during his little outburst, and stared at the colonel in a way that clearly said he was sulking.

This whole thing was most perplexing, Maes decided. He squinted down at the pair of them, trying his best to deciper it.

Something strange was going on; of that, he was certain. Both Roy and Ed seemed to be on edge. Roy was doing his best to appear suave and composed, but if Maes wasn't mistaken, there was a nervous glint in his eye. Edward was acting like he always did when he had to visit the older man – as if he'd rather be anywhere else in the world – but even _that _was somehow off...

Maes froze, putting two and two together.

Could _Edward_ be the cause of Roy's dilemma?

It was certainly possible. Maes reviewed the facts in his head: Roy had asked Ed to come in to his office; Roy had been obviously stressed out beforehand; Roy was now putting up some sort of front; both Roy and Ed seemed to be out of sorts.

But why would Roy be distressed by a hot-headed teenage boy?

"You never answered my question, Edward," Roy observed, for the sake of changing the subject.

Edward hesitated, evidently weighing his options. Finally he burst out, "It was all Winry's fault! We only went to see her because _Al_ insisted, and then she blackmailed me into taking her out to Rush Valley again, and I _had_ to buy her whatever she wanted, because she brought her favorite wrench along with her, even though I checked the luggage for it before we left–"

Roy's eyes widened slightly, taking in the spectacle that the younger boy was making of himself. "Edward," he said sternly. "Stop. Breathe." The boy actually stopped moving mid-rant, lowered his previously flailing arms, and inhaled. Maes was shocked. "Now, are you honestly trying to tell me that you overspent your military budget because you bought presents for _Miss Rockbell_?"

"They weren't _presents_!" Ed exploded. "I already told you, I didn't have a choice! She had that damned wrench of hers, and when I tried to say no, she nearly clobbered my brains out!"

"I said _breathe_."

Scowling, Edward took a few deep, exaggerated breaths. "There; can I leave now? Or was there something else you wanted?"

A strange look crossed Roy's features, but a second later, it was gone. "Are you always in such a hurry?" he asked teasingly. "We haven't seen each other in who knows how long, and all you can think about is running away? I'm hurt, Edward. Really. Why don't we go out to lunch or something? My treat."

Maes noted that Edward immediately flushed. "I have better things to do with my time," he scoffed.

"Are you sure? I'm paying."

Edward looked at the black-haired man apprehensively. Maes almost thought he was going to agree, but they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Colonel?" It was Riza again. "There's a woman on the phone for you. She says it's urgent."

The skepticism in her voice was tangible. Roy grimaced. "Can you say I'm busy?"

Riza nodded, closed the door behind her with a snap. Edward's golden eyes narrowed, and he turned to shoot Roy a look of annoyance.

"Are you sure you're free for lunch?" he asked.

"Yes," Roy retorted. His nervousness was starting to show again, but only to Maes, who knew him best.

"Well I don't think I am. See you later, Mustang."

Edward turned on his heel with an overly dramatic swish of his jacket and strode from the room.

Roy frowned after him, not moving an inch for fully two minutes, as if he were hoping that the boy might come back. Then he groaned and collapsed face-first onto his desk.

_This proves it!_ Maes thought jubilantly. Roy really _was_ distressed by Edward! But that still didn't explain why...

Suddenly all of the pieces fell into place. Maes jumped up again, this time pumping his fists in triumph. His elderly neighbor eyed him anxiously, but he didn't care. He had just solved the mystery!

Roy was in love with Edward!

There wasn't a doubt in Maes' mind that he had just stumbled upon the truth. After all, Roy was his best friend; he knew Roy better than anyone else did, and he could tell when the man was completely smitten. It was so obvious! Why hadn't Maes seen it earlier?

And what did Ed think of Roy?

The door clicked open and Riza's head reappeared. She had sensed the Colonel's anguish, even from the other room.

"Is everything alright, sir?" she asked, studying him as if he might explode without a moment's warning.

"Yes," Roy mumbled into his desk. "Everything's fine. Did the woman on the phone leave a name, by any chance?"

"Lisa, sir," Riza replied instantly.

Roy groaned again. "Great. Just great. Why did the psycho ex-girlfriend have to phone _today_? Of all the days she could... I don't even know how she got this number in the first place!"

"Sir," began Riza cautiously. "If I recall correctly, didn't you break up with a Lisa this time last _year_?"

"I did. Unfortunately, she's very persistent – something I didn't know when I agreed to date her."

The blonde woman shook her head wryly. "Sir, if I may suggest it: perhaps now would be a good time to take advantage of your position in the military."

Roy sat bolt upright. "Hmm," he said slowly, smoothing his hair with one hand and straightening his shirt with the other. "It has definite possibility. Is Major Armstrong in town?"

"As far as I'm aware."

"Good. He might just be overwhelming enough that if I were to send him to tell her I'd been killed in action..."

Chuckling, Maes left them to their plotting and began to search for Edward. He knew Ed and Al had a room at the military housing dorms for the rare occasion that they needed to stay in Central, so he took the route in that direction. Sure enough, he found Ed one block away from dorm. The boy was walking briskly, his back slightly hunched and his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. He was glowering something fierce.

Maes followed him into the dorm, up two flights of stairs, down a hallway, and through the third door to the right. No one else was there. Maes wondered vaguely where Al had gone.

But then, it was probably a good thing that Alphonse wasn't there. If Ed was going to say anything that might be indicative of his feelings, he most likely wouldn't do so in front of his little brother.

Maes watched as the boy began to pace the room, unable to sit still for longer than a few seconds. He was mumbling to himself, sometimes punching a fist against the palm of his other hand, and just as Maes had predicted, the mumbling eventually began to grow louder.

"–can't believe the bastard," he was saying when his voice became audible. "He has the nerve to– and then– argh, he's so infuriating! And he had no reason to make me go all the way down to headquarters. Probably just got bored and wanted somebody to harass. But why am I always the one he..."

The teenager sank down onto one of the beds and dropped his head into his hands.

"Edward, get a hold of yourself!" he ordered. "You're being completely ridiculous! He doesn't– he couldn't–"

_He is_, Maes thought. _Ed's in love too! _This was brilliant! This was wonderful! He could have danced a jig, if he had known how!

But there was still one teeny, tiny problem: both Ed and Roy were too stubborn to do anything about it.

That made Maes sit down hard. What was he going to _do_? Here he was, stuck on a cloud in the middle of the sky, when two good people were in desperate need of his help! He knew he couldn't go anywhere. There was an invisible barrier between the clouds and the earth, as he'd learned very quickly upon his arrival.

"Then how on earth am I going to tell them?" he exclaimed to himself. "Could I write a letter and send _it_ down in my place? No... there's no paper. What if... no, too complicated. Maybe I could... no, that doesn't work either–"

"Excuse me?" said a small, cautious voice. Maes looked around. The only other person close enough to have spoken to him was his neighbor.

"I'm sorry, was that you?" he asked the old woman.

"Yes it was," she replied, smiling. She reminded Maes very much of his grandmother. "Are you trying to connect with the people below us?"

"Well, yes," Maes conceded hesitantly.

"I just thought I should tell you: you _can_ talk to them. You just say what you want to say, and imagine that you're saying it right in their ear. They don't hear your exact words, really, but the idea of what you're saying lodges itself in their brain. That's how I persuaded my son against buying a motorcycle for his fortieth birthday."

Suddenly Maes felt like dancing a jig again. Maybe he could find someone on one of these clouds who could teach him how! When he was done with his mission, that was.

"This is great!" he told the woman. "Thanks a lot!"

"My pleasure," she said kindly. But Maes didn't hear her; he had already going to work.

He turned his eyes back to the dorm room, where Edward was still sitting on the bed. Al had returned while Maes hadn't been watching.

"–said she's doing well," he was saying to Ed. "Granny's happy to have her back, although she won't admit it. She said she can't wait to use the tools we bought; apparently Winry was right about them being the highest quality–"

"And I was right about them causing trouble!" Edward cut in. "We overspent our budget, Al!

Since Al was only a suit of armor, Maes couldn't see the surprise on his face. But he could hear it in the younger Elric's voice. "Oh no! Was that what the Colonel wanted to see you about?"

Ed winced slightly at the mention of Roy. "Yeah, I guess it was."

"What is he going to do, Brother?"

"Oh, I don't know." Ed shrugged. "He'll probably take it out of my next paycheck, just like last time."

"Didn't he say anything about it?"

"Well..." Ed said, hedging, "I sort of left before that part."

It didn't take Al long to figure out what that meant. "Oh, Brother!" he moaned. "You didn't get into a fight again, did you?"

"It was his fault!" the blond protested hotly. "If he wasn't such a bastard all the time–"

"That's what you always say, Brother," Al pointed out. "But you wouldn't have to if you would just stop fighting with the Colonel every time you see him."

Edward rolled his eyes and promptly changed the subject. "So you talked to Winry for a while, huh? Happy about it?"

"Yeah," said Al, and Maes could hear him smiling. "It was nice to hear about everyone back in Resembool."

Ed grinned. "Are you sure it wasn't nice just to hear her voice?" he asked, raising his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Brother!"

"Ha ha, sorry Al! I couldn't help it! But seriously though: we both know the only reason you called was because you wanted to talk to her."

A small, good-natured chase ensued, until both boys realized that they weren't going to get anywhere and gave up. Al sat at a desk in the corner, flipping through a book and taking notes on a sheet of paper next to him. Edward laid down on his bed, placing his hands behind his head and closing his eyes, thinking.

Maes jumped at his chance; he spoke, envisioning his words going right into the boy's ear.

"Ed, you are going to talk to Roy," he said firmly. "You are going to tell him exactly how you feel."

To his astonishment, it actually worked. Edward sat up abruptly, blinking in a dazed sort of way and frowning to himself. Then he stretched lazily and clambered off the bed.

"Well Al," he said. "I think I'm going to take a walk. Get some fresh air, y'know. I won't be gone long, okay?"

"Alright, Brother."

Positively joyful at the thought of his imminent success, Maes followed Edward out of the dorms and back up to Headquarters. It took them only a few short minutes to get there; Edward walked very quickly.

"Back again, Edward?" Riza asked when he entered.

"Sorry," he said, a hint of a blush developing on his cheeks. "I- er- I forgot something."

The blonde woman looked him over appraisingly, as though she were trying to discern from his facial expression alone why he was there. Then the corner of her mouth turned up again in that same, almost invisible grin. _She knows_, Maes realized, shaking his head in amusement. Somehow he wasn't surprised. "You can go on in," she said at last.

Thanking her, Edward slipped through Roy's door without bothering to knock.

Roy was once again staring out of the window. When he heard Ed shut the door, his head snapped up.

"Edward?" he asked quietly. It wasn't a question of who was there; it was something with much more meaning.

Ed bit his lip. "Look, Roy," he began, speaking at his feet. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper."

Time seemed to freeze. The colonel stood up, taking a few careful steps towards the boy in front of him as if he were approaching a potentially dangerous wild animal. "Are you actually _apologizing_, Ed?" he questioned, and Maes caught a hint of humor in his tone.

So did Edward. He glared at the man. "Would you like me to sign something to prove it?" he snapped.

And then, before Maes had quite figured out what was going on, the two were attached at the lips. Roy had caught Ed around the waist, and Ed had flung his arms around Roy neck, and it looked as if there were tongues involved, but Maes couldn't be sure, because he was too shocked to pay that close of attention. He couldn't help feeling like he had missed something important. Weren't they supposed to reveal their feelings first?

They continued on for some time, and when they broke apart, both were panting heavily. Roy planted a chaste kiss on the top of Edward's head, his arms still wrapped around the boy.

"I'm sorry too," he said into Ed's hair. "You know I didn't want to send you on that mission. But you hadn't done anything in so long, and I was afraid of the higher-ups getting suspicious... can you forgive me?"

"I guess," said Edward slowly. "But that phone call... Hawkeye said..."

Roy sighed. "I was afraid you'd think that. No, I did _not_ start seeing someone else while you were away. How could I? The very idea... no. That was an ex-girlfriend of mine who doesn't know how to leave well enough alone."

"Oh."

"And as we speak, Major Armstrong is on his way to tell her that I am indisposed for the rest of eternity, as far as she's concerned."

"Good," Ed said happily. There was silence for a moment. Man and teen seemed content just to hold each other. Then Roy pulled away, looking at Edward with unmistakable worry on his face.

"But about you and the Rockbell girl...?" he said hesitantly.

Edward stared at him for a moment, and then he burst out laughing. "Me and Winry?!" he choked out, clutching at his stomach and howling with mirth. "You're kidding, right?"

The colonel crossed his arms. "Well, what was I supposed to think, when I knew that you were angry with me, and I knew that you overspent your budget on buying gifts for her–"

"And I told you, those weren't gifts," Ed interrupted. "Al's the one who likes Winry, not me. He's the one who dragged me out to Resembool _and_ convinced me to take him and Winry to Rush Valley. I didn't want to buy Winry _anything_, but she knows that I'm the one with the money, and somehow she brought that stupid wrench along, so I couldn't say no without risking my life and skull."

"Ah."

"And besides, I wasn't really angry at _you_," Edward added. "I was angry with the fact that I had to leave."

The blond said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Roy stared down at him in, clearly stunned, his mouth partially open and his head cocked to one side. Then he leaned in and kissed the younger boy soundly on the mouth. "I missed you, Edward."

"I missed you, too," Ed admitted simply. "Now, about that lunch: are you _really_ going to pay, or...?"

This time Roy laughed. "Yes, I suppose I am."

As Roy searched around for his coat, and Edward opened the door to tell Riza that he was taking the older man out to lunch, Maes felt an overwhelming sense of vexation. _So_, he thought dryly. They had actually been together the entire time_._ And the main source of tension between them had not been the fear of their feelings being found out, as Maes had originally suspected, but the fear that their partner had fallen in love with someone else. How completely anticlimactic. It was enough to put one off of interfering for the rest of one's afterlife.

Well, maybe not. Now that Maes knew he could influence people's thoughts, he was highly looking forward to certain things. Like being able to order the crowd of boys that were bound to show up at Elicia's door to cease and disperse. He wasn't going to give up that power for all the world.

Maybe he'd just have to give up matchmaking instead.


End file.
